I’m re-posting old blog entries that I wrote in 2006. Is that like a huge internet faux pas? I don’t care, it was just an old myspace blog that no-one read so I’ll add it to the tumblr tumble (they all seem so cute and optimistic! am I getting more jaded in my old age?):
My Ideal Sexual World
As engaged sex-positive, feminist, queer and kinky folks, we spend a lot of time talking about how crappy the world is. My partner and I have taken up the habit of identifying, from time to time, key features of what we call our Ideal Sexual World.
In a time when something as tame as two people of the same gender legally marrying seems far off, I think it is important to make our dreams bigger, not smaller.
Take a look at my list and tell me what I forgot!
In my Ideal Sexual World:
1) No one is ever raped or otherwise coerced into an unwanted sexual act through physical force, poverty, desperation, or addiction.
2) Everyone appreciates his or her own specific body (with all its beautiful irregularity) for the pleasure it can bring to him/herself, as well as to other people.
3) Everyone sees him/herself as a complete sexual being. Of course we still crave sexual and emotional partnership, but the state of being single is celebrated, and masturbation is finally recognized as the true national pastime.
4) No one feels objectified or belittled by the admiring gaze of other people, because everyone feels safe in the unquestioned autonomy of his or her own body.
5) Everyone feels free and empowered to state his or her boundaries at any moment, from asking an unwanted admirer to stop looking at you as you walk down the street to telling your lifelong partner that you just dont want to have sex that night.
6) No one feels hurt when someone else states a boundary. Because of the frequency and simplicity of saying no and being told no by other people, we have ceased to feel that being told no diminishes our value as a sexual being.
7) No one is ashamed of his or her sexual fantasies, because everyone understands that fantasies can exist in the mind without being acted upon in the physical world.
8) Everyone is free to pursue the kind of relationship that makes them the happiest, healthiest, and most engaged with the worldbe it straight, queer, monogamous, non-monogamous, married, single, co-habiting or otherwise.
9) Due to the high visibility of queer families, polyamorous families, and other non-traditional arrangements, young people understand that love takes many forms and that their own sexuality is a unique gift they should respect.
10) Comprehensive, sensitive, respectful and humorous sex education is provided for all children beginning in the home and continued at schools through publicly-funded programs. Because of this early education in prevention, unwanted pregnancies are rare and transmission of STDs is low.
11) Comprehensive sexual health care is available and affordable to all people, and researchers continue to improve vaccines, cures, and medications for all sexually-related disorders.
12) Men and women and who wish to work as sexual healers, surrogates, escorts and entertainers are free to do so, and are appreciated by the society and the state for the important role they play in a healthy and happy society.